The Connection Conundrum

So a couple of good friends and I got together for some pints, risk, cookies, and all round debauchery, and got into talking... The world claims to be a better place because everyone is so much more connected to people - they can access their friends' News Feeds on Facebook in seconds, they can text their parents across the country, they can send a christmas card out to hundreds of their friends with a click of a button...

But are we really more connected than we were before?

I know, this question has become a cliche - but really, it's only become a cliche cause we've decided it is - we don't want to face any sort of fact that suggests we're doing something wrong. Why? Cause it feels good. It's addictive. It keeps us from one of the scariest things imaginable - our own thoughts.

That is besides the fact though - what I'm trying to demostrate is that it is a moot argument that we're now more connected than ever. I resolve that although we are about to reach out and access a huge quantity of people, we are not in fact directly connected with them anymore.

Texting has turned from what started as short, efficient exchanges of update-type messages into empty meaningless garbage for the most part. People are texting "ummm" and "uhhhhh", and their text conversations span huge amounts of messages, when a simple phone call would have gotten the information across, been much more efficient, and would have an element of much more direct contact with a human being.

Texting is now an inefficient crutch - it's cheap, and that's what phone companies want; We can text on their systems for much cheaper than talking so they'll mark everything up. Now, even after the markup, texting packages look cheap so you buy it.

How many times have you read on a text the following...

"OK be there in an hour"

"Be about 20 mins"

"Just on your street"

"Here"

... Was it really necessary for that person to send me those updates on exactly where they are? I mean, if they're late, yes, but just a simple 'gonna be late' would be fine. I don't want updates on where you are, I just want you to BE THERE.

It's a popular thing to do, but it's jumbled globs of useless information. You can't have a meaningful, connected conversation over texts. Texting allows you access, not connection.

With immediate direct access, there is no more yearning for intimate contact. We're sedated with thousands of tiny, meaningless interactions that plague our mind and veil the true connections; true connections waiting to be made through opportunities presented every minute of every day.

Imagine living in 1890... you've just finished bringing in the last crop of the season. Every year near thanksgiving the family has a big party to celebrate the end of the growing season, and your favourite Uncle Peter generally shows up from Northern Quebec to visit. Peter missed this seasons party - so of course, you're concerned.

But it's true concern. You only see Peter once a year, and maybe get 2 or 3 pieces of mail from him - depending on what makes it through the weather - but regardless, every time there is an interaction with him it's all meaningful, important interactions. You talk about your families, the growing season, plans for the future - never about what colour you painted your toenails, what smells you smell, or how you've got a crush on your teacher.

You're concerned, but you are also patient - after all, it's Uncle Peter - he's coming from a long way away. Maybe he's running a bit late, got hung up some where, or just couldn't make it down. There's no use in fretting the unknown - the house has to be prepared for winter again, and the firewood isn't gonna split itself - if you waste your time trying to track down Ol' Peter, you may never find him, or you may end up finding out that he's on his way, just a little late. How many times do you get the texts saying...

"Where R U?"

"R U still coming?"

"U shud tell me if ur gona b late"

... My philosophy is that I'm gonna be there. If I'm not, the person in question would probably know when they should be worried. I'm a big boy, I do fine on my own - and so should they. They don't need me to coddle them with reassurances that I'm STILL on my way, and I don't need them to tell me I'm late - cause chances are, I know.

I work in a coffee shop, and I work as an adventure guide - and as a people person I thrive on human interaction. I love working the till and meeting new people every day. Meeting 12 new friends on a raft and teaching them the fun in the whitewater is how I keep my head on straight. But when your face is buried in your phone, not only do you look stupid, but you can't share a human interaction. When your mind is concerned about the drama you're missing on facebook, your letting the world slip past your eyes as you stare blindly, not fully taking in the beauty of a word, a person, the trees around you - or whatever it may be. I know it's not that special - getting coffee from that blonde guy at the same coffeeshop you go to every day - but it's more than "OMG I just saw the cutest bus driverr!!!", and it's therapeutic. Talking to people vents. Talking to people inspires emotion.

Texts are cold. Heartless. Empty. You can't get much out of them. But even in the tiniest exchange of a few words whether ordering coffee or not, you subconciously take in so much more, and you'll feel better about it. You'll be better after it.

So why do we do it?

It's quicker. (In some cases.)

It's easier. (Occasionally.)

It passes the time. (Definetly.)

It's sometimes quicker, sometimes easier, and always passes the time. But it's never as efficient, and it's never as meaningful. It's a distraction from the real world... it's like a hook, pulling us away from the humble abode of reality. And we're not fighting too hard.

I'm personally a big fan of this thing called The Real World. I'm a believer in patience, and human beings connecting.

What about you?